So Kevin opened his fat mouth, and I want to punch him. 

".....a woman who - judging from her belly - had to be at least 7 or 8 months pregnant. And she was smoking. Like no worries.

People like this shouldn't even be able to have kids."

Ummm...  I am a smoker.  And what exactly does he want me to do with this insult.

*grip continues*  So people seem to think that they can make blanket statments, and that if I fall into that blanket I am not allowed to be offended.  What kind of crazy bull shit is that.  I can be offended at whatever I damn well please. ANd if you piss me off I am going to tell you.  THen every one else wants to ump in and defend their fellow sister/brother, and tell me to calm down.  Well I'm sorry I am tired of the fucking sorority club. 

I get spanked all over the god damn boards, and I have the most unlikely of champions, every once in a while.  And sure I appreciate it.  And they will only cross lines whenever some one was really out of place.    
Now I am not a big fan of Mugen's, but the board does't give him a chance to breathe.  I get really tired of watching the Mungen slap fest too.  Right now I am just pissy about almost all of that site. 

So I count to ten, and then refrain from fanasizing about ways to destroy Kevin in my mind.... 1..2..3.4..5.6...7...8...9.....10.  Not working!!!! 

So, I figured I would share with you all the feeling cycle I have been on over the last few months.  About a year ago I found out that I had done some pretty interesting damage to my reproduction area, and friends.  The details of this are rather embarising and grusome, so I won't talk specifics.  Lets just say that as a result I need to have my uterus removed, I need to have reconstructive surgery on on some muscle walls, and some plastic surgery to correct some scar tissue.  I was told if I wanted to have more kids I would need to do it soon.

After much consideration, and discussions with my husband, we decided that we were ready to call it quits, let me get all my problems fixed, and move on with our lives.  This was a very emotional, and important time for me.  I finally accepted that there would be no more children in our home.  My husband knew that if I did this, that we would likely addopt in a couple of years, and he was accepting.  Every thing was falling neatly in place.

Some time in January I found out that we were going to be having another baby.  It went from shock, to acceptance, to great what the hell are we going to do now! 

I already accepted that I wasn't going to have more children.  I had come to terms with it.  I was allowed to dream of the day my kids were out of the house.  ANd getting them off to school.  Now I have to start that all over.

Please don't misinterpret.  This baby is celebrated, it's the baby we shouldn't have.  I guess it makes up my mind for me.  I know that there will be no more babies after this one period.

I do have a certain amount of resentment for my situation, but it isn't geared at the baby itself.  I resent the fact I need to stay home 3 extra years, when I was three years away from a little more independence. 

I am OK with being pregnant.  We will welcome this baby into our family, again its an unplanned, but not unwanted pregnacy.  I don't know what I hope to achieve by telling all of you...  I guess it just feels good to get it off my chest.

Thanks for listening!

Current Mood: annoyed

<div style="width:600px; border: 1px solid black; text-align:center; background-color:#FFD87F">    <h2>The Everything Test</h2>    There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests,     purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is <i>one test to rule them all</i>.<br /><br />    Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)<br /><br />    <table width="550" style="margin-left:25px">    <tr>        <td width="100%">            <table width="100%" style="border:1px solid black; background-color:#FFECBF">                <tr><td style="text-align:center" align="center"><b>Personality</b></td></tr>                <tr><td style="text-align:center" align="center">You are more <b>logical</b> than emotional, more <b>concerned about self</b> than concerned about others, more <b>religious</b> than atheist, more <b>loner</b> than dependent, more <b>lazy</b> than workaholic, more <b>traditional</b> than rebel, more <b>engineering mind</b> than artistic mind, more <b>cynical</b> than idealist, more <b>leader</b> than follower, and more <b>introverted</b> than extroverted.<br /><br />As for specific personality traits, you are <b>adventurious</b> (100%), <b>religious</b> (90%), <b>intellectual</b> (80%), <b>romantic</b> (71%).</td></tr>            </table>        </td>    </tr>    </table><br />    <table width="550" style="margin-left:25px">    <tr>        <td width="250">            <table width="100%" style="border:1px solid black; background-color:#FFECBF">                <tr><td style="text-align:center; border-bottom:1px solid black" align="center" colspan="2"><b>Stereotypes</b></td></tr>                <tr><td><b>Prep</b></td><td>46%</td></tr><tr><td><b>White Trash</b></td><td>45%</td></tr><tr><td><b>College Student</b></td><td>38%</td></tr>            </table>        </td>        <td width="50">&nbsp;</td>        <td width="250">            <table width="100%" style="border:1px solid black; background-color:#FFECBF">                <tr><td style="text-align:center; border-bottom:1px solid black" align="center" colspan="2"><b>Life Experience</b></td></tr>                <tr><td><b>Sex</b></td><td>25%</td></tr><tr><td><b>Substances</b></td><td>11%</td></tr><tr><td><b>Travel</b></td><td>44%</td></tr>            </table>        </td>    </tr>    </table><br />    <table width="550" style="margin-left:25px">    <tr>        <td width="250" style="border:1px solid black; background-color:#FFECBF">            <b>Politics</b><br />            Your political views would best be described as <b>Socialist</b>, whom            you agree with around <b>78%</b> of the time.        </td>        <td width="50">&nbsp;</td>        <td width="250" style="border:1px solid black; background-color:#FFECBF">            <b>Socioeconomic</b><br />            Your attitude toward life best associates you with <b>Middle Class</b>.            You make more than <b>-0%</b> of those who have taken this test,            and <b>100%</b> less than the U.S. average.<br />        </td>    </tr>    </table><br />    <table width="550" style="margin-left:25px">    <tr>        <td width="100%" style="border:1px solid black; background-color:#FFECBF">            If your life was a movie, it would be rated <b>PG-13</b>.<br />            By the way, your hottness rank is <b>52%</b>, hotter than <b>75%</b> of other test takers.        </td>    </tr>    </table><br />    <a href="http://www.thatsurveysite.net/take.php?id=eay" style="color:purple">TAKE THE TEST</a><br />        <font size="1">brought to you by <a href="http://www.thatsurveysite.net">thatsurveysite</a></font>    <br /><br /></div>

I will admit that I am used to myspace.  I like being able to click a little buton that says send message, or add to friends (I think I found that one here...)  Anyways I would really appreciate if some one would be my little tour guide.